Bullies, Assholes, and pulling my head out.

I know this will not be a “popular” post.  I know this is not about sex, or match.com, or Whole30, or even about me falling flat on my face into a case of almond butter and Larabars.  (those faceplant posts do amazingly well, so I suppose it’s a blessing I fuck up on a regular basis)

This is about bullies.  And assholes.  NOW, ALL bullies are assholes, but not all assholes are bullies.  I am an educator, and my campus has an amazing social-emotional learning program which gives very specific guidelines for what constitutes a bully.

“A person is bullied when he or she is exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more other persons, and he or she has difficulty defending himself or herself.” ( Dan Olweus)

Bullying, per this definition, requires repetition and an imbalance of power.

Being an asshole means you’re a jerk, but it may be an isolated incident, and you “pick on someone your own size.”

Bullying is systematic, cumulative, and bordering on evil.  Especially when perpetrated by an adult.  Someone who should know better.  Someone in power.

I don’t do tv.  No cable.  So, I had not seen this 45 seconds.  or even just the 10 second excerpt of Mr. Trump and his “imitation” of the reporter.  Until two days ago when Meryl Streep referenced it in her Golden Globe acceptance speech, and the clip went viral.

NOW.  Regardless of your feelings about Trump, Streep, or the media, the fact remains, Trump did imitate a reporter with disabilities.  A man who has less power, wealth, and may not have an equal ability to fight back or defend himself.

And this disdain for those with LESS (whether it be money, power, gender, race, status, education, or physical abilities) appears to be a recurring pattern with Mr. Trump.

I have zero tolerance for bullies.  I have an apparent fondness for assholes (tend to date them), but bullies have. no. place. in. my. world.

Let me repeat:

Bullies. Have. No. Place. In. My. World.

I like to think I would have this attitude, no matter what my circumstances, but I believe my need to be a champion for those who have difficulties championing for themselves comes from growing up with a disabled brother.

Ricky!  Those headphones are a hot mess, but he’s happy.

I hate a bully. (and yes, hate is a strong word).  Always have, always will.

I believe it has been established, that I’m scared of everything.  Apparently, there is something bigger and more powerful than my fear, and that is ANGER.  And thankfully, my anger is typically motivated by LOVE.

When I was in first grade, a much bigger and obviously older,  8th grade girl started picking on my older brother, Ricky, and Alyse, the girl who helped us walk home from Harvey Scott Elementary School.  Ricky has been completely handicapped since about 6 months of age, and is small and defenseless.  I remember being nearly BLINDED with rage when this girl picked on Rick and Alyse.  Our encounter STARTED with my first grade self emphatically informing this girl that her behavior was not acceptable.  Our encounter ENDED with this 8th grade girl popping me in the face and bloodying my lip.  (my mother did march me up the street to her house, her mother was mortified, and I got an owl candle, so it pretty much ended well.)

Laura, Bert, and Ricky. 1982? I was rocking the short hair in 5th grade, so around then.

My blog is my little platform in the world.  So, for today, this is me, pulling my head out, and drawing my line.  What does that look like to you?

Knowledge.  Action.  Change.

Not only should we NEVER be bullies (we are all assholes from time to time), but we need to actively stand up, step up and fight those individuals and institutions who are.

Light and Love,

Big Laura

**lots and lots of the content from this post came from HERE.

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3 thoughts on “Bullies, Assholes, and pulling my head out.

  1. So true. The strong are obligated to protect those less fortunate in a civilized society. In reality, bullies are not strong at all. They have an unquenchable need for attention and a warped view of themselves and the world. I’m not a doctor, but I would imagine that acting out as a bully is a symptom of a much deeper issue of neuroses, narcissism and paranoia that we are ill equiped to cure. However there are some effective treatments. Unfortunately this condition generally rejects treatment and intervention. Regarding the new story of Trump’s comment on the reporter, in addition to being a bully there is also plain old stupidity at play. Some people try to be funny with mockery and when they don’t know who they are mocking they end up like this: looking like a total idiot.


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