Experiments, not Resolutions


Going to try an experiment.  We did the Bulletproof experiment, with minimal results.  Again, this may in part have been due to user error.

Enter:  Whole 30.  OMG, I never ever thought I’d be experimenting with this.  My daughter sent me information about the Whole 30 about 2 years ago.  My response?  Aw HELL no.  Mind you, I was living on Diet Dr. Thunder, Red Vines, Pizza, Cheetos (baked of course!  I had some standards) and pink wine.  Suffice it to say, none of these substances is encouraged on the Whole 30 plan.

NUTSHELL?  Certain foods/beverages are inflammatory.  Bad.  Cause disease and untimely, painful, yucky kind of death.  Trust me, there are lots of ways to die, and some are better than others.  End result is the same, pushing daisies, but the JOURNEY is a hella lot better for some than others.


So the lovely couple (now divorced) who started the W30 program experimented upon themselves by eliminating foods and substances that have been known to cause inflammation.  Inflammation is at the root of most disease.  Don’t believe me, do the research fo yo own bad self.

The results of this elimination schedule were amazing.  And they told two friends, and they told two friends, and so on and so on and so on.


Yes: Eat real food.

Eat meat, seafood, eggs, tons of vegetables, some fruit, and plenty of good fats from fruits, oils, nuts and seeds. Eat foods with very few ingredients, all pronounceable ingredients, or better yet, no ingredients listed at all because they’re totally natural and unprocessed. Don’t worry… these guidelines are outlined in extensive detail in our free shopping list.

No: Avoid for 30 days.

More importantly, here’s what NOT to eat during the duration of your Whole30 program. Omitting all of these foods and beverages will help you regain your healthy metabolism, reduce systemic inflammation, and help you discover how these foods are truly impacting your health, fitness and quality of life.

  • Do not consume added sugar of any kind, real or artificial. No maple syrup, honey, agave nectar, coconut sugar, Splenda, Equal, Nutrasweet, xylitol, stevia, etc. Read your labels, because companies sneak sugar into products in ways you might not recognize.
  • Do not consume alcohol in any form, not even for cooking. (And it should go without saying, but no tobacco products of any sort, either.)
  • Do not eat grains. This includes (but is not limited to) wheat, rye, barley, oats, corn, rice, millet, bulgur, sorghum, amaranth, buckwheat, sprouted grains and all of those gluten-free pseudo-grains like quinoa. This also includes all the ways we add wheat, corn and rice into our foods in the form of bran, germ, starch and so on. Again, read your labels.
  • Do not eat legumes. This includes beans of all kinds (black, red, pinto, navy, white, kidney, lima, fava, etc.), peas, chickpeas, lentils, and peanuts. No peanut butter, either. This also includes all forms of soy – soy sauce, miso, tofu, tempeh, edamame, and all the ways we sneak soy into foods (like lecithin).
  • Do not eat dairy. This includes cow, goat or sheep’s milk products such as cream, cheese (hard or soft), kefir, yogurt (even Greek), and sour cream… with the exception of clarified butter or ghee. (See below for details.)
  • Do not consume carrageenan, MSG or sulfites. If these ingredients appear in any form on the label of your processed food or beverage, it’s out for the Whole30.
  • Do not try to re-create baked goods, junk foods, or treats* with “approved” ingredients. Continuing to eat your old, unhealthy foods made with Whole30 ingredients is totally missing the point, and will tank your results faster than you can say “Paleo Pop-Tarts.” Remember, these are the same foods that got you into health-trouble in the first place—and a pancake is still a pancake, regardless of the ingredients.

One last and final rule: You are not allowed to step on the scale or take any body measurements for the duration of the program. This is about so much more than just weight loss, and to focus on your body composition means you’ll miss out on the most dramatic and lifelong benefits this plan has to offer. So, no weighing yourself, analyzing body fat or taking comparative measurements during your Whole30. (We do encourage you to weigh yourself before and after, however, so you can see one of the more tangible results of your efforts when your program is over.)

WHY am I doing this?  Remember, always ask WHY!  And then, ask it again!!

  • to improve cognitive function (yes, to kick ass intellectually)
  • to continue my nutritional battle against depression (yes, to kick ass mentally)
  • to be a happier, kinder, more compassionate person (yes, to kick ass spiritually)
  • to improve my sleep quality
  • to reduce inflammation
  • to heal my relationship with food
  • to do something totally awesome for my one precious body
  • and, if my abs get some shred during the process, I’m not gonna bitch about it

If you are totally and completely satisfied with your entire life right now, EVERY piece of the pie, get on with your bad self.  If not?  Maybe some new knowledge and actions are in the future.  What’s the worst that can happen?  Death.  Yes, Death is usually the worst that can happen, and as far as I can conclude, no one has died from eating their dark leafy greens.

How’s your pie?


Light and Love,

Big Laura

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